I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
