Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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