I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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