My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just invented taco cereal.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
