my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
