i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
