Who wears a wallet chain?!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
