I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
