like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
