I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
