This girl is more easily done than said...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
