Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
