New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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