I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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