I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
