connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Randomize
