In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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