cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
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