She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
