i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I will pee on everything he values.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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