Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
