Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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