Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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