Already got asked if we're dating
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
