Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
