11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
