Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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