i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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