She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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