SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
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Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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