Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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