So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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