We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
