i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
