Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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