Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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