I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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