But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
