shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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