i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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