If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
