You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
