I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
