dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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