I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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