forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize