That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
