Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
