So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
