I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
