This girl is more easily done than said...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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