dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
