Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
As shirtless as possible
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
