My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
