Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
