when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
