I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
