It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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