So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
