I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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