I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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