six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize